I presume you never did anything outside of Civil Engineering before? (meaning, you have never had to deal with things that do not fall into your professional category, therefore you had to navigate through things that you have no prior understanding).
And can I ask you something else? Why 20 years? Why deal with Civil Engineering for 20 years? Why change of subject now and not 19 years ago? Is it because boring? Or was it boring 19 years ago too? And if it’s boring, then why not change of job long ago? And if you already thought of that, then why are you not already on something else? If you had to work all this time, why you had to put yourself in position that forces you to stay in one place? Why allow things to happen that will eventually cause you to waste lots of your time?
The movie “Limitless” is my most favorite movie. Yes there is an aspect that coincides with me. I do want to reach the level of understanding of the world around me that I can ever have with all the knowledge that I gain. I guess that’s what you mean by power aspect. I don’t know how does that affect my intelligence. Maybe there are things that I will never understand? And what is the intelligence anyway. How does one become more intelligent than the other. Does it mean that if I understand physics and mathematics just as good as any other university professor…that makes me high intelligent person? Is intelligence a collection of certain information? Or just the way of how we put things up together? Maybe the way we put things up together is also a knowledge that we should learn? What if intelligence is not an inherent ability? Something that is transferred by genetics. But something learned? Does that mean that the more information we upload, the more intelligent we become? What is this thing that we call intelligence? What makes one more intelligent than the other? And how does the mind of the most intelligent person work? ıs it faster? Does it have more memory? How can someone calculate things so fast just like savants do? Can we all do that too? And how? All these things are the questions that remains unanswered. And unfortunately I have no resources to pursue them as effectively as I want. That is my limitation. A lifetime that is wasted. A waste that is not recoverable. And who is to blame? Are people who do not participate to take the blame? And if they are, then aren’t I to punish them when I have capability so to settle the account? And does it even worth doing that? And if it does not, then why do we need so many people around us for? What is their purpose of existence? And if they have none, why should I tolerate their existence for? Why their stupidity should be the instrument of my downfall? And if I cannot live this life as I plan to live it through, why should I respect those around me when they fail too? Should I respect them and their values if mine are disregarded and viewed as dangerous? Why is it dangerous for them? Why people have no curiosity? Why curiosity is such a hard thing for them to follow? Why does a person exist for if it is not for maximization of their potential? Why a person who does not care about maximization of their potential also not choose to be dead? After all, a dead person doesn’t care about potential as well. Then what is the point of living if the end result is no different than a dead person? And if that is true, then why a person doesn’t take charge of their life? Perhaps they have no purpose and balls to take the responsibility? Perhaps if they don’t then I should take the responsibility over their lives and decide better what is to make out of it even though it means against their will. After all, their will has failed. It doesn’t any-longer has a power to say something about things.
Okay…my rant is over. You are a civil engineer. Just like the builders who pack their shit and leave before I end my rant.