first time post.
After being recently diagnosed as an ENTJ my search for understanding has brought me here.
I’m often told I argue every point and and skip over emotional issues.
In fact I’ve been told that I’m blunt, to interested in using intelligent questioning to extract information for my benefit rather then to learn about the other person.
Obviously very gifted, but in a frightful way so it seems.
I’ve come to realise I need to ask better questions or at least take the time to ask questions for the benefit of letting others talk.
To uncover opportunities to develop I’ve been doing some work with “competing commitments”, it’s a quick way to understand what actions you take to block yourself from obtaining objectives.
That process lead me to uncover the fact that I don’t want to know how people feel about things because I don’t think I can cope in the conversation without getting to emotional myself, my fear is to have a feelings based conversation (the very idea makes me gag!)
As a quick example: a quick chat with the local fish and chip shop owner uncovered that he came very close to closing up shop a month ago when a competitor opened.
Others might have asked him how he felt.
I asked what his business plan was, what his marketing plan was and gave some advice on branding, thinking about it afterwards, I asked the questions and offered the advice because I was upset that he was in trouble, but I would have been completely uncomfortable with being the listening ear.
So to my fellow ENTJ’s here’s a very unnatural question: How do you FEEL? Do you distance yourself from hearing other peoples emotions because they are boring or because you fear your still waters will give way to a torrent of emotion you can’t control?