ENTJ and Depression


I feel very vulnerable coming on here and putting myself out in the open like this, so any assholes should leave this thread now. Fckyu, I know you in particular have a history of being insensitive on these topics, so you should consider this especially directed at you. Don’t even post if you don’t have anything constructive to say. With that out of the way, here goes:

As someone who has been typed by many online tests as an ENTJ (although I have my doubts about the typing, but that’s for another thread) who is going through some pretty serious, debilitating depression due to lack of personal success, having to live with my utterly idiotic sensing family, and loss of mental abilities, it seems like no one around me can understand what I’m going through. I don’t want to ask my family for help or advice, because they’ll just give me a swift kick in the pants, tell me depression doesn’t exist (or that I don’t have it) and that I’m just giving an excuse for having no motivation, as they always do. The thing is, when I’m away from them, I feel liberated and freer to be my more productive and ambitious self, but when I’m around them for too long, I get depressed and lose my sense of self worth, as I have now, as they are so pessimistic; since they are my family, I allow them, very foolishly, to get to me. After extensively reading up on MBTI, and ENTJs in particular, I have yet to find anyone who shares my specific story, so I will ask you all here for your thoughts on the matter. If you were in my situation, which I will distill down to a bullet point list below for simplicity’s sake, what would you do?

Key Points:

  • Family of overly-simplistic, short-sighted, pessimistic idiots who lack vision and constantly feel the need to try to convince me that my optimism and futuristic mind are bad for my health
  • In particular, an ESTP mother whose first instinct is to manipulate and passive-aggressively shame you into doing what she wants (sounds more like F behavior, but she is definitely a T)
  • An ESTJ aunt, who I actually kind of respect for her robust personality and ability to get things done, but who is still nonetheless a sensor, and therefore narrow minded and often rather stupid/ignorant
  • A number of recent (within last ~6 months) failures which have compounded upon themselves to make me question my abilities, and whether I am even worthy of being as successful as I want to be


I figured out what it was. I’m still not sure if I’m an ENTJ, although most evidence points to it, now that I have a clear head. The problem was that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with my mother. She had constantly put me down and convinced me that my dreams and aspirations were impossible since early childhood. I just didn’t realize it, since I thought all parents acted like that. I developed symptoms similar to that of Avoidant Personality Disorder, which makes since, as my introverted feeling came out under extreme stress, and I didn’t believe that I could accomplish anything, since that was the message that I had been told by my mother since childhood.

If any other people, ENTJ or otherwise, have problems with this type of situation, I would advise you to watch this video, and if you think the specifics fit your situation, seek therapy: youtube.com/watch?v=A5fw-IT_phU


I am really sorry to hear about your problem. I am a professional Mississauga acupuncturist and would suggest you to try acupuncture for depression. I am sure it will be beneficial for you. Just try once!


Actually that descripes my father perfectly (the video), my mother is the typical watcher, and my older brother has abused me sexually 7 years long, I have the feeling I am suffocating but the good thing is that I just have 2 more years to go, than I will go to university, hopefully find a job and will cut every connection between me and them.


Do you still want to talk to a ENFJ about depression. I suffer from it as well. Maybe not as bad as you but have some helpful tips on how to manage it better.