Hi, new to the forum, as an ENTP, obviously came to ask about this matchup. (Such a cliche!) As a side note - or not exactly side, but - I date women, so that may complicate things a bit compared to what most posters are asking, and may provide some insight in other ways.
So I’m dating an ENTJ now. It’s new-ish, new enough to have enough spark or whatever. I certainly like her enough - she’s smart and sexy and endlessly interesting, we have great conversations and a lot of fun together. These are all good things. (I don’t really care to think of having “roles” in a relationship between women. We’re both pretty confident, both feminine. I like that about screwing around with gender expectations in that regard, and so does she. That said, I asked her out first, I’m a few years older, and tend to be the one who pays - that goes with asking someone out, not gender, I think.)
To the question at hand - I’d probably also like a bit more emotion or romance in our relationship. But wow, is she careful about that. She is very, very good at not tipping her hand, or whatever. I don’t think she’s playing games, or anything - if I did, I certainly wouldn’t stick around - she’s just careful. Which, fine. I’m happy to let her set the pace about when she feels comfortable sharing something with me, and when she doesn’t. (I’m happy to let her set the pace generally.) I’m not one to pressure anyone about things like that.
But I could see how she might need to be asked, sometimes. Or want to be asked, but not be able to say it. And I could see how some ENTPs, guys (at the risk of stereotypical gender roles) or ones who are stronger Ts particularly, wouldn’t be great at taking that opportunity. They may have already kind of decided the ENTJ’s pretty careful control means it’s best not to ever broach the subject. Not true - I don’t think, anyway - but there’s definitely potentially some strong downside to forcing the issue, there, and they might have decided that letting the ENTJ be the one to broach the subject is the best way to go.
So how often have you raised this point with your ENTP? This may take a semi-serious conversation, and not when you’re fighting. One thing I lurve about the ENTJ - directness works. For both of us. It’s really pretty drama-free and awesome, in that regard.