ENTJ husband - ENFP wife - HELP!


My husband is a strong ENTJ and me being a “feeling” type really struggles with his abruptness and bluntness sometimes. I leave our arguments feeling completely defeated, he leaves them and doesn’t think about it again. He is so practical and to the point and I sometimes feel like I’m hitting my head against the brick wall with him because I just want him to relax and be a bit more romantic. He finds mistakes in everything and gets frustrated so easily when things aren’t done perfectly. He does get over things quickly but I’m left picking up the pieces from his blow ups because he can’t self regulate his emotions at all… Something pisses him off and he just loses it. He generally comes back after awhile and apologises but I’m EXHAUSTED.

How do others deal with husbands like this? How do you find is the best way to communicate and get your point across? And how can I let him know that how he speaks and acts sometimes affects me so much?


I am an ENTJ female married to an ENTJ male, and I want you to know that your feelings aren’t completely caused by being a different type, because I experience the same sometimes. The best advice I can give you is to speak your mind and do it earnestly. Sometimes with an ENTJ you have to be a little forceful and repetitive with a point you are making, but you need to tell him how you feel. ENTJ men are committed to making their women happy when they are in love and will do anything to get there. The same commitment they show toward work should be seen in a relationship. So don’t suppress your emotions. Tactfully release them s
o that he can fix it. The best part of my relationship is I tell my husband exactly how I feel. He is stubborn and hard headed, so sometimes I have to metaphorically hammer my point until he gets it. But he can’t live or work with me upset. It overwhelms him, and he will do anything to make me happy. So don’t pretend to be happy. And if he doesn’t care if your happy, then you might question the love he has for you.


Just stand your ground and argue with him entirely based on logic. Any of your wimpy, emotional drivel will evoke disrespect and will also serve the purpose of demonstrating he is winning, both on logical grounds and in terms of raw interpersonal strength. No ENTJ can fail to respect a cool-headed logician who will stand up to them, but most other people just come across as losers to us.


Communication is irrelevant. And resistance is futile. Few years later when he basically trains you to think and behave properly, you will find peace. Even monkeys can be trained to program computers. Why can’t you be programmed to behave properly? Of course you can.