ENTJ male, in love with ENTJ female

[fathamburger]

Marriage is stupid. Humans are a joke. Cooperation of man with woman in dealing hard life problems is futile. When a man financially stable, he will have as many women as he want. Again, no need to settle down with one.

Life in this sense, sucks.

Someone sounds frustrated Keeping a woman requires financial stability, “having” women has very little to do with finances at all

[lamer]

Marriage is stupid. Humans are a joke. Cooperation of man with woman in dealing hard life problems is futile. When a man financially stable, he will have as many women as he want. Again, no need to settle down with one.

Life in this sense, sucks.

One suggestion for you:
Go to the prostitute den, then you can get as many girls as you want with your money. They would please you the best. Paying for what you get. Easy. No trouble. No clinginess. No commitment. Nothing to worry about. And even will not be afraid of having some girl to sue you with the child she tries to get with you. Or if you want a liitle cleaner, use call girls. Look hot, still satisfy for need. No trouble after that.
Both parties are pleased. Happy?

[Wasabi]

fgh

[Wasabi]

fgh

[fathamburger]

Lamer,

I promised that I wont step on you, so I will try to keep this as civilized as possible. I belive there is no difference between women who openly sell their bodies to the highest bidder from the ones who marry for your wealth. Do you agree?

I do

[lamer]

I promised that I wont step on you, so I will try to keep this as civilized as possible.

Dont worry, i have never let anyone step on me. It’s for sure.
As a woman myself, i did find that what you said about man with money can get as many women as he wants is really an insult. The question is " what kind of woman can he get with his money?" Please remember that not all women run after man just because of his money. I admit that man who can earn much money is somewhat attractive, but i know for sure that it’s just one of the things a woman consider from a man to decide to choose him or not. There are also other things, not a man’s money surely. A wealthy man with no good personality or just considers woman as sex toy or else is not different with trash to me. And woman who just runs after such a kind of man despite of how bad he looks at her is a woman with no self respect. This applies for man as well. So sad to say: a person who has no self respect is a person has no value. So, as per your previous post, the man can get as many women as he wants if he has money and finanicial stability , then i could say, the type of women he can get is not different with prostitute or call girls. Isnt it true? He gets what he wishes and looks for. Easy to understand.
You look at things through a dark glasses. How can you see the true colours of things? Just until you take the glasses off and look, consider things by your real eyes, then you can judge it. Dont judge a person and jump in conclusion so soon when you dont know him/ her well. That’s what i’d love to tell you.

[Sligh]

Well said, Lamer.

[Wasabi]

fgh

[lamer]

Quote:
As a woman myself, i did find that what you said about man with money can get as many women as he wants is really an insult.
Why? People never feel insulted over lies. Only when part of what they say is true, well then yes. Then deep down you realise that I say truth, only you dont want to admit it. Right?

What you said is not truth, as it can not apply for all women as i told before. If you use your experience with women in the past and draw conclusion for all others, then i suggest you should think again why your life just met such a kind of woman. They say: birds of the same feather flock together. was it true in your case?
Why do i feel insulted? I am woman, and what you said about woman in general is not true. Thats why i must correct that. Even if it’s true for some, you can not conlude for all.

Quote:
The question is " what kind of woman can he get with his money?"
Almost any woman. You can sleep with presidents wife if you can afford it.

You name them then! Or should i question that the whether the child you call son/daughter later on is really your blood child? As a rich man can sleep with all women as what you say? I dont wanna be rude or macho here. So im trying to be polite on using my words. Dont make me cross that limit.

Quote:
Please remember that not all women run after man just because of his money.
About 90% run after man for their money. Other 10% are either newbies or dumb.

Then that man is actually not different with an animal living for what is in his pant. The 10% is considered dumb/newbies as per that such man’s view as they can not fix in that animal society. Even if 90% can not be considered as 100%. 10% is still more than nil.

Quote:
I admit that man who can earn much money is somewhat attractive, but i know for sure that it’s just one of the things a woman consider from a man to decide to choose him or not.
Woman in society is somewhat different. No country has more working women than men. This makes women somewhat dependant on men. When shit hits the fan which eventually happens in life, every woman realises that dealing with reality is crap. It’s much better find some rich guy to hang on rather than work out the real problems.

So the man should bear children, willing to take care of the home, staying with children more, and change their stupid mind to apt all those things to woman, stop being egocentric/ashame when his woman can earn more money than him then! Then you will see the reverse case.

Quote:
There are also other things, not a man’s money surely.
What are they? Which one of then worth poverty?

Things that even i name them here, you can not know as you have never had them in your life. And you even have no definition about that.

Quote:
A wealthy man with no good personality or just considers woman as sex toy or else is not different with trash to me.
Most wealthy men consider their women as sex toys. Only in these families women accept lots of crap from their men for stability they provide. It’s a trade off.

Quote:
And woman who just runs after such a kind of man despite of how bad he looks at her is a woman with no self respect.
They do self respect. But its convenient to crub that for stability they get.
Quote:
So sad to say: a person who has no self respect is a person has no value.
Values change pretty quickly when reality of life kicks in.
Quote:
So, as per your previous post, the man can get as many women as he wants if he has money and finanicial stability , then i could say, the type of women he can get is not different with prostitute or call girls. Isnt it true? He gets what he wishes and looks for. Easy to understand.
True. But it seems like men have no problem with that.

Then i must say: trash is in dusbin. It’s in where it should be in. Both should go together. why do you complain or even blame for woman only? Why dusbin is made if it’s not for such trash?

Quote:
You look at things through a dark glasses. How can you see the true colours of things? Just until you take the glasses off and look, consider things by your real eyes, then you can judge it.
I think I look at things with pretty real eyes. The truth is that other people prefer to look at things with dark glasses because it provide them with free women and sex.

Then your eyes already got problem. You should cure them first.

Quote:
Dont judge a person and jump in conclusion so soon when you dont know him/ her well. That’s what i’d love to tell you.
I’m sorry that I burst your bubble. I hope your ENTJ side will override your woman sensitivity. But somehow I doubt that

That’s absolutely not bubble. Remember that:

1. ENTJ/ personality type is something scientist created to fit people in the same box, due to some common traits they noticed from people. You can not use it to tell all about a person.
2. I decide for who i am, not ENTJ or whatever. i dont speak due to woman sesitivity, i do speak for what i believe is truth.The truth is always truth even if you wanna make it be a bias.

All in all, until you can not change your attitute when talking about woman in general, i dont wanna continue this debate. As i do think that debating with no result / nothing learnt from it after that is useless and a waste of time. And also, debating over abnd over with a person who thinks that he/she is ALWAYS right even if his/her mind is based on something out of fact/rational is stupid

[Wasabi]

fgh

[lamer]

Sometimes, stopping a debate at the right time is a right way to behave. You can keep your thinking that way. Think whatever you want. No matter what.

[Wasabi]

fgh

[LUD10987654321GO]

B-rad, I didn’t specifically meet her at an ENTJ convention or anything if that’s what you’re wondering. Nah it was just a convention, mutual interests that sort of thing. Only found out the ENTJ thing later.

you have ENTJ gf, you should know that. As per my opinion, a man who wants his wife to be totally a housewife is stupid.

Haha good! ok at least another female entj shares that opinion then. I wasn’t sure if this was something I could assume because I’ve met plenty of girls who think it weird that I am not looking for the housewife type. It’s probably disqualified at least 50% of the girls I’ve dated. One in particular I met at a networking event where I happened to run into some other people in the film industry, and we’d worked on some of the same sets but diff days and she was with me but straight away she went away “while the men talked business”, even though this was something she wanted to do with her life as well. That was also the moment when I thought we’d not work out since someone who would shy away like that and assume the domestic role.

But to be clear, we’ve only just met and friends for now. You know the saying that the man makes the first move but it’s the woman who chooses, still working on the latter

she even lost the most meaningful thing in a woman life: being a mother.

Yeah I can understand it being particularly hard for an ENTJ woman, but I think nowadays it’s a friendlier age for that. You can run an empire online nowadays and still be at home for the family, I think too many women blind themselves to that option while wanting to have/keep a “real job” that is bad for them because of the social acceptance of that norm. It also reminds me of another saying “at some point, a woman must has to make her career her man’s”, so best if you were both pointing in that direction in the first place. Bill and Melinda is a good example.

So you should share all your problems ( if any) with your gf

haha ok vote of confidence! the timing worries me though. We’ve only very recently met so the difficulty is in to still let things develop normally friendship and dating wise, because even if in this case I can see a possible future already I’m trying to not freak her out. I’ll be especially buried by next year. So hopefully things develop naturally and I don’t screw things up. Still feel like I’m in the “minefield” stage right now. I wish we’d met a year ago tbh.

Pfff… I don’t know what the average woman wants, but any guy assuming that I’ll raise a happy family can move on. Another thing I despise is the ‘who is in charge’-debate. If that how a relationship looks like, I don’t want to be in one. A relationship should be an addition to the overall amount of happiness in your life, and not a quest to raise a family. Having a family is nice, but only if it somehow contributes to your life. If a career suits me better, I’ll have the career.

she even lost the most meaningful thing in a woman life: being a mother.

This is the most prehistoric dumb and idiotic statement EVER (no offense, I’m taking down the statement, not the person) because, if I recall correctly, women do not get pregnant on their own. Having kids is a choice for life, and I utterly refuse to be the sole responsible person for raising them. My husband wants kids? Fine, but it’s a 50/50 job, and if it doesn’t fit with my personal plans, it won’t happen unless he’s willing to stay at home.

I’m not saying I don’t want to have a family (someday, far far away in the future), I’m just saying that it’s not my priority but an added ‘bonus’. Not on my list of ‘lifetime goals’ anyway.

[lamer]

I don’t know what the average woman wants, but any guy assuming that I’ll raise a happy family can move on

Why do you think raising a happy family is solely part of woman’s , not both? Even if you woman does it alone, there is nothing wrong with raising a happy family, as ultimately, it’s YOU who takes care of YOUR happiness.

A relationship should be an addition to the overall amount of happiness in your life, and not a quest to raise a family.

Agree. But do you know WHAT really make you have a fulfill, happy life? Successful career? or a successful family? a good health?.. or all of them? You have a life to live, you can spend it on what part as you wish.

If a career suits me better, I’ll have the career.

Good! One day you will discover that you are leading a non balance life. Watching your friends with their happy family, you will ask yourself: why cant you get such a life, even it’s not difficult to achieve, just because you didnt want to get it.

This is the most prehistoric dumb and idiotic statement EVER (no offense, I’m taking down the statement, not the person) because, if I recall correctly, women do not get pregnant on their own. Having kids is a choice for life, and I utterly refuse to be the sole responsible person for raising them. My husband wants kids? Fine, but it’s a 50/50 job, and if it doesn’t fit with my personal plans, it won’t happen unless he’s willing to stay at home.

You wish your husband to stay at home taking care of the baby? You are killing me man’s side in him. Why shouldnt he throw himself to society, earn more money to support the financial life and prepare for the life, the future of the child? And spend free time with the baby instead of staying at home all day to take care of the baby? You think that taking care of a child is physical job only? And it’s good for the child?
It’s good that you clarify the responsibility of the two in having baby. You are very bold deciding whether you should have kids or not. But i guess that you have never really been in love with some man? have never found any man who you fall deeply for and want to settle down with him? If you do, you would see that having a baby with the one you love and settle down with is the happiness in a your life. Have you ever come to some hospital to see how many women are so desperate when they can not bear children despite of how modern technology supports? You are gifted with that ability, why waste it?

Not on my list of ‘lifetime goals’ anyway.

Of course, because it must come naturally, at some point in your life.

[LUD10987654321GO]

“Why do you think raising a happy family is solely part of woman’s , not both?”

It’s exactly this idea that I don’t agree with, but I continually keep reading (here in the forum) “A women’s ability to raise a family” etc., instead of e.g. “A women that can help me have a happy family”. I’m also not saying there’s anything wrong with wanting to raise a family, but I’m getting the impression that everyone think’s it’s a ‘logical’ way to achieve happiness, while most people don’t seriously consider how their lives would look like without a family and how that would contribute to a persons overall hapiness. I think, but I don’t have any evidence, it’s more socially accepted (or expected) that a man can live happily without a family, while for a woman the same ‘life style choice’ would be seen as an incompleteness to her life.

Good! One day you will discover that you are leading a non balance life. Watching your friends with their happy family, you will ask yourself: why cant you get such a life, even it’s not difficult to achieve, just because you didnt want to get it.

If a career suits me better, I’ll have the career.

I’m not saying that IS my choice, I’m saying that IF I genuinely think I’m better off with a career instead of family (or no career, no family, no xxx - whatever it is), I’ll have the career. I take parenting very serious because my parents weren’t the best around, and having kids caused them a lot of stress, pressure, sorrows and influenced their ‘life style choices’ in a negative way. I’m not sure if I’m up to raising kids because it’s such a responsibility. I can easily think of people who, if they look back, would’ve done a lot of stuff different, including the happy family part. I admit that in my ideal life a family is would be there, but life just isn’t ideal and in a more realistic view, I prefer a life without sorrow. I’m not saying that not having a family is the absolute solution, but it’s often more part of the (a) problem then people would like to admit.

You wish your husband to stay at home taking care of the baby? You are killing me man’s side in him. Why shouldnt he throw himself to society, earn more money to support the financial life and prepare for the life, the future of the child? And spend free time with the baby instead of staying at home all day to take care of the baby? You think that taking care of a child is physical job only? And it’s good for the child?

"You wish your husband to stay at home taking care of the baby?"
No I don’t wish my husbund to stay at home; I want him to make a choice that makes him happy, whatever that is. But I’m trying to underline the idea that my husband and I have a 50/50 job on taking care of the kids, and if I’m working only 4 days a week because of the kids, he will too, so that I can spend just as much time on my job. Why would his career be valued above mine? If he want’s to work 5 days a week that’s fine by me, but the kids will go to daycare, etc.

"Why shouldnt he throw himself to society, earn more money to support the financial life and prepare for the life, the future of the child? "

Why shouldn’t I?

Have you ever come to some hospital to see how many women are so desperate when they can not bear children despite of how modern technology supports? You are gifted with that ability, why waste it?

"You are gifted with that ability, why waste it?"
That’s a prehistoric answer: someone should NEVER have kids because they can; reproduction for the sake of reproduction? You have to want kids to have kids, not just have the ability.

“But i guess that you have never really been in love with some man? have never found any man who you fall deeply for and want to settle down with him?”

That’s true; I don’t think I’ve ever been deeply in love to want to have someones kids. But then again, my parents were deeply in love when they had kids and it didn’t bring them any happiness in the end as a family. This goes for a lot of other families, too. I agree completely that wanting to have kids should also depend on the person you love, but what happens when the loving part is over? Do you still want to raise your happy family on your own? Are you still able to take care of your kids based on your own love for you kids, instead of taking care of kids based on the person you loved? Those are some serious considerations someone has to review before having kids

Not on my list of ‘lifetime goals’ anyway.

Of course, because it must come naturally, at some point in your life.

100% agree, but in addition I’d like to add that this ‘natural point’ is over-romanticised and the idea of the ‘happy family’ is forced upon people and women in special.

In general my point is that having a family is overvalued/ over-romanticised, specially through media. I’m not saying that I don’t want a family, I’m just saying that like any other big thing in your life (e.g. buying a house, moving abroad for a job, etc.), it takes planning and carefull consideration. People often don’t see it as a decision as to actually have a family, but WHEN to have a family. That’s getting off on the wrong foot in my opionion. If you don’t ever have serious thoughts on NOT having a family, how can you make a decision to HAVE have a family?

[BlackBriar]

Thank you, this absolutely answers all my questions.

I’ve been wondering what it would be like to date someone that’s like me. I think it would be great because I’ll easily predict and forecast her thoughts and we should be on the same page majority of the time. If not, then I’m down to adapt to her way. ENTJ Fem…just knowing someone is an ENTJ is reputable enough for me to just accept their new methods of doing things.

Let’s face it, I only become that cocked up ENTJ that people despise when I’m around incompetent people. As much as I love and enjoy leading. I do want to find a woman who is worthy to lead me. I need a woman who is versatile. If she’s stronger at something…LEAD PLEASE! I don’t mind following. I’m humble in the face of my own ignorance and I know when I should be a subordinate. But if she’s behind on something or something’s not her forte, I hope she has the modesty and humble heart to trust me to lead. I believe that optimizes efficiency in a partnership/relationship.

I just found out that one of my good friend is was single a while back. I’m a bit pissed right now because I could’ve hit on her and see where that would take us. She’s a ENTJ Fem. Damn. Such a rare find. Everytime I’m around her, I do not feel the need to be…‘so ENTJ’. I feel very calm and safe around her.

Stupid people make me feel insecure. Being in charge is my warm blanket. Around her, I feel safe and secure to let my guard down. I’ve always wondered why. Then I asked her what her MB-Personality type was. I was astonished to learn that she was also an ENTJ. Too bad she’s not into me. Oh well.

[BlackBriar]

My two good friends from College…are dating each other and both ENTJs. They’ve been together before I met them and that’s been over half a decade.

The Boy got his BA in Econ from UCDavis. PhD in BioChem at UCDavis as well. He has full family support. Lots of inner child in him and he’s goofy and silly and happy and fun to be with. Very charismatic. Doles out the right amount of discipline. He has fully family support and he’s very tight and close with his family.

The girl got her BS/BA from UCDavis. No family support. Broken family. Been in survival mode mentality since she was young. Practical and all about putting food and such on the table and paying the bills and runs the house with an iron fist.

They both compliment each other quite well. Their similarities seem to allow them to view things in each other’s eyes easily. But the fact that they know their differences, allows them to appreciate each other as a partner and see each other as like a worthy team with versatile sets of skills.

It’s beautiful. I want what they have.

[ProdigalDaughter]

Thank you, this absolutely answers all my questions.

I’ve been wondering what it would be like to date someone that’s like me. I think it would be great because I’ll easily predict and forecast her thoughts and we should be on the same page majority of the time. If not, then I’m down to adapt to her way. ENTJ Fem…just knowing someone is an ENTJ is reputable enough for me to just accept their new methods of doing things.

IMHO, ENTJ and ENTJ do not make a good match. You think ENTJ/ENTJ would make a good romantic match- but according to Lacan, this is a narcissistic type of attraction. It’s like having two chefs in the kitchen trying to outdo the other, constantly bickering, two narcissists trapped in a co-dependent relationship.

Also being solely around your own personality type makes people dull. Sure, we ENTJs can bitch and moan with friends and co-workers at Happy Hour, but at home, we like to be with our soulmates who inspire us to become better people and take care of the practical details while we pursue our ambitions.

[Wasabi]

fgh

[Go_Go_Go]

I would worry about a family with two ENTJ’s, we’d both be off conquering the world and the poor kids would have enough trouble living up to one perfectionist parent let alone two. The challenge would also to not be so dogmatic as to suffocate and kill off their development too.

I find this to be a humourous thought. From my experience with my kids the more good direct leadership they get, the more they begin to rule as well. My method is to teach them to be little leaders and take on the responsibilities they can handle. Some can handle a lot, others struggle with the simplest tasks. No, I think two ENTJ’s would be quite successful in that department.