ENTJ women become successful "Domestic Goddess "


#10

Hi ItsaToughLife,
if you want to have it all - career and familiy - then I would say that the twenties should be career time. You want to get to a position in which you are comfortable before starting a family. Career headaches and small children do not go together.
There is no big rush to find the right guy yet. Make sure he is supportive - because you will need to delegate. It is not possible to do everything by oneself.


#11

Thanks Heather, very helpful information and something to look forward to eventually. I wonder if there are any statistics as to where different personality types thrive?


#12

I’m not sure if this is the case. If you are willing to be entrepreneurial, no part of your life is really critical for a career. Besides, it doesn’t seem to make sense to meet the right person and say, “Actually, this is the time for me to work on my career, please check back in 5 years” - i.e. there is no perfect time or even preferable time of your life when you fall in love and decide to spend your life with someone. It just happens when it happens - its hard enough to find the right fit, doesn’t make sense to walk away because the ‘timing’ is wrong. Or at least, thats my opinion.


#13

Sure, if the right person shows up in one’s life one should definitely welcome a relationship.
To sacrifice a relationship for one’s career is not really what I meant above. I hope that for most people it should be possible to combine these things. - At least for me it was.

Children are a different story. Here you can choose the right moment to have them. They really do require a serious amount of time and effort from their parents. And I believe it makes life easier and more enjoyable when one has sufficient time for them and is not too caught up in other things. That is that the career is ticking along in the background or the business of entrepreneurs is running smoothly during that time.


#14

Hmm… thankyou for many and varied responses it’s greatly appreciated.

Interesting on many accounts… :think:


#15

Well, I planned to teach music as I could be a mum and work quite flexably doing that. Because of this, I had my kids in my twenties and early thirties and am now back at uni studying. My seven kids are totally awesome and because I was young when I had them we have more of our lives to share. We are all studying. We are all growing and loving our lives. If I waited til I was older to have them I would have missed out on so much! As an ENTJ life learner, my kids have certainly facilitated much growth in myself and each other. It’s fantastic! Life is fantastic.


#16

Agreed.


#17

Wow! Seven kids - very impressive!


#18


#19


#20

Careers can come and go in the blink of an eye…build a family…at least they make it a reason to strive, to get up in the morning, even if the world is screwed up. They are the most important. Play the game at work, you can actually enjoy your work, but don’t think it will ever replace family.

I have done both and there is a reason for both…if you find yourself single with children, you will have a career and could take care of your family. Men, also, you should be able to take care of children. In this crazy world we never know what responsibilities we have to take on to survive.


#21

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I agree with ComplexMango, you can not know when you will really fall in love with someone. Life with career only but no love is meaningless. I’m sure that at some point in time, you will feel that despite of how much sucessful in career you are. In fact, once being in a relationship ( i mean in marriage life), you can choose the right time to have baby, and concentrate on your work ( why have to choose one of them while you can handle both by your effort and help from your husband?).
Marriage life is fair now. A model family in my mind is : mutual respect, both parties share duties together, support each other and be the shoulder for the other person to rest on when needed.
I dont think that in this modern life, man wants to have a wife who is totally housewife and he has to bear all the load of making money to affort the whole family. Nor do I think that man likes woman who is totally just concentrate on her work only but doesnt care of the family.
I myself dont mind if i have to do homework and take care of the baby and work at the same time.As being woman, i am sure that all of you girls have maternal instinct that bring love and drive for you to take care of your baby ( by willing) once you have it.If so much work to do, you can hire a babysitter who does the housework and take care of the baby for you if the time you work costs more than the time you pay for the babysitter.
For cooking meals and others: If i do that for my husband, it’s because i LOVE him, and do things for him, not because i HAVE TO.
Well, it’s my point of view. Girls, please share your opinion.


#22

I give you this much years:
0,25*k+0,5=x
with k= amount of kids you have and x beeing years

explanation: You’ll enjoy naturally a change in your live for 6 month (you can go to the SPA, a great gym, learn a language, start a sports that you always wanted to try (e.g. tennis/whatever), excel at cooking AND baking and make THE trip to insert preferred continent or country during the summer vacation of you kids, which you always wanted to make with them), so that’s where the 0,5years come from.
Each kid’s specific challanges can keep your interest for around 3 months, depending on how much you’ve been involved in that before:
Parent - teacher conferences are interesting max. ONE time.
Figuring out what’s the best route to school, will not take you to long
organizing / beeing involved in the organization of a summer fete / party in Kindergarten / school is fun max once and you’ll most likely not come along with the OTHER stay at home moms (who most likely aren’t ENTJs!!! Don’t forget that point)
etc.
etc.
etc.

BUT what could save you is to found a charity organization or start your own business… even if it’s “only” a take away bakery downtown/at the hospital/ etc.
Actually this take away idea would also give you the opportunity to use your “goddess”-cooking skills and after reaching a certain level of goddess-cooking it would also provide you the platform to try new things… hey that might be it!!

Hope this could help you. And yes I tried something similar already and I was terribly unhappy… but I don’t have kids.


#23

Uh-oh… math. You lost Ace. :wink:


#24

That’s interesting!
One more thing: Should always have some back up plan before choosing some trade off. Consider that trade off is fair, the risk you are taking is selective risk. Or else one day you will regret.


#25

[quote="ComplexMango
Uh-oh… math.
You lost Ace.
:wink:
[/quote]
Talking in formulas, is so much more efficient… i think even ace should accept that :wink: and get into the language of maths.
Seriousle: If we ever meet aliens math would be the only language we could use… think about it.


#26

Talking in formulas, is so much more efficient… i think even ace should accept that :wink: and get into the language of maths.
Seriousle: If we ever meet aliens math would be the only language we could use… think about it.
[/quote]
Yes, I’m a math guy, I agree. Though I’ve always found abstract math like linear algebra, discrete mathematics, game theory etc more interesting than ‘hard’ math like calculus, statistics, mechanics etc. I always found calculus, physics and chemistry a little boring, but my INTP little sister loves that stuff.


#27

So you like game theory… NICE! I have a nut for you to crack then. But I’ll post it as a seperate topic… just for you Mango!! It’s about legalization of drugs and which solution would maximize welfare.

I always wanted to found a game theory club at university… but due to all my other projects I never had the time…


#28

Interesting. Bring it on.


#29

Yessssss. I completely agree. I’ve been staying home full-time with my son for almost a year now and I feel so trapped. I just hate it. I keep trying to figure out ways to feel some sense of personal achievement through my own at-home business. Freelance writing, blogging… he’s also two years old, so he’s a handful.

My husband and I plan to work remotely and travel in a camper trailer someday. That’s my only saving grace keeping me from going completely bonkers.