ENTJs and Extreme Habits


I’m a female ENTJ and the mother of a two-year-old. I’ve been staying home with him for almost a year.

My habits are extreme. I’m wondering if any other ENTJs go through this? Running five miles every single day or not running at all? Eating super healthy meals or just junk food?

I have always been extreme. But motherhood seems to have made it wayyyyy worse. I will get rid of stuff in the house until there’s nothing left just to relieve the stress of having stuff I can’t control. And then I’ll let stuff accumulate with the intention of trying to control it better.

I never just relax, I’m always doing a million things. And being a stay-at-home mom is really boring, even though I busy myself all freakin’ day and late into the night. But I chose it because I want to do the best possible job of raising my son and I don’t trust anyone else to do it. Extreme! So extreme.

Who else has extreme habits?


All types run the risk of being extreme. Just like all types can get there cool on. However as an enfj who has also jumped to extremes I feel I can relate. For me most extreme behavior can be connected to the "I have toos " Rather than the I want to. Or a result of coming out of depression. At those times the motivation comes and goes. This is actually normal.
You sound like a person who can achieve things that surpass your peers in whatever you put your heart into. It is good at this time to be kind to your mind. You will bounce back when you are ready. ENFJs are famous for rising from their ashes


Where do I even start?

Basically in the idea that a lot of the underlying assumptions of ‘being an ENTJ’ are worth questioning. For example -

  • whether its possible to be alone without being lonely?
  • Whats it like to feel all your physical sensations - from athletics, to sitting, to walking, to sleeping… what is the sensation like? Can you feel your blood flowing through your body? Sounds crazy but worth investigating
  • observing your feelings (and your thoughts) - i.e. naming them, without judging them
  • postponing judgment, and instead wondering what’s going to happen (rather than deciding what’s going to happen, or putting a probability on it)

These are mostly things to experience all alone, and do not require any equipment, special location, instruction or anything other than your attention.

Is relaxation something you want? Why do you want to achieve anything? Whats the why behind the why… all the way down?

What is the ‘best’ you can do for your child? Where does self acceptance fit in? Where does the child’s self acceptance, and acceptance by you fit in?

Are you trying to prove anything? To yourself, or someone else? And why? Is it necessary? What will you do once you’ve done the proving?