Grudge...


#1

So people kick my ass on forums despite the fact that forum posting is conductive… Starting topics more conductive… So I become out of it… I mean it doesn’t mean anything when people attack me despite the fact that I am trying to fix it… To put my condition on better terms or something… Conflicts you could say… But I am too busy suffering to care about what might be considered a conflict… Open expressions allow me to work the process… They are conductive for my benefit… It is all that I need is a bit of relief from communication… So posting on forums would help me… But well they do not tolerate open expressions even though they can relieve pain… They attack my posts… They attack me personally… They render me in the shredding… So what am I to do when this occurs one might wonder… As I have said all I desire is relief, but they will not give me any relief… They continue to manipulate me on a daily basis… They fail to understand that I am entitled to my personal relief… That they need to allow me to treat my condition without attacking me… So I do not have to suffer as much any more… So I can feel a bit better… Now the pain is about it to note… If pain is relieved I am better for it… Why hold on to grudges that cause pain, and why should I care… All that matters is ending the pain… I always end pain… I do not want pills or anything else… I need to end my own problems my self withing boundries… I want to just talk on forums and end pain by helping me… So I can feel better nurtured by my self only… So everyone will leave me alone… So I can be alone, and stay that way… No pain me no problem… No problem if I have no pain… So people will just go away and leave me with no pain… How rude for them to hurt me like this… How rude for the to deceive me like this… All this talk about worlds, but what of it to me… I do not care about worlds… All I want is to end this pressure inside of me so I can relax… I fail to see the problem with any of this… So I just type online or what… I just relieve pain for my self… So what of it… I try very hard for my self… Unfulfilled desires and so one… It can be quite the obstacle when all I really want is relief… Nobody seems to understand what is important… So why bother then… If people refuse to understand what is important, then why bother… They do the same dumb things over and over as if they need input… I disagree with them finding them to be perfectly competent… I think they just like to lie a lot… Because they are so childish… They are perfectly willing to help me, and yet they cannot do so… Isn’t that nice… Well they need to be nicer to me, and stop attacking me all day long… I just wanted them to receive me better, and not attack me… Why cannot they agree with me… If they did all this nightmare would have ended a long time ago… They just need to say yes to me… That is all… They just need to agree with me… They do not understand that I just want to relax… Why do they do this to me… If they would only let me do whatever I wanted on their sites, this would have ended yesterday… They do not seem to agree… They seem so weird… I do not understand why they do not agree… They know I came from bad circumstances, and I hurt… They know I am in pain… So why do they agree… Why cannot they do more for me… Meh… I fail to understand them… They refuse to grow up… They will not do anything nice… They are bitter and cruel… They do not understand themselves… They are like undisciplined children… They do things without regard… They are not understanding of themselves, and others… They think themselves demi gods or something… Like they are self important… They think they can do whatever they like… They think they are the greatest… So they really are important… Like I understand them… Really think they are important… They think they are heroes or something… Like they can save everyone… So they do not even care when they are crude… They are very rude, and treasonous… They fail to understand why they are so treasonous… They threaten themselves every day… They do not understand themselves at all… They think they care… They think they really do care… They think they are important, like it matters… They think they matter a lot… They think they can do whatever they like… They refuse to understand themselves… They refuse to understand themselves… They are not really there… They are illusions… Not really there at all… They really understand nothing about themselves… They think nothing of themselves… They really do not like themselves… They really do not care about themselves… Its like they are not even there… Like they do not even matter… They are like nothing… They are like nothing to themselves at all… They do not value themselves at all… They fail to understand themselves at all… They are really weird… They are extremely weird… I find them to be funny guys… Funny guys that can’t do things right… Very weird and funny guys… Crooked thinkers… They are very funny… They are very dumb, and funny… Very dumb and stupid people… Very dumb and stupid people… Never ending idiots of hell… They are completely insane… They cannot reason right… They are very stupid… They fail to understand themselves… They fare to care… Dumb bastards… They really are stupid… They are the dumbest people on the planet… They don’t understand themselves… They really are dumb beyond belief… They cannot understand anything… They are just too dumb for their own understanding… They are too dumb for their own understanding… I hate them for the idiocy… I hate them for their cruelty… They do not understand why…