How do you want to be approached for a date?


#1

I’m approached by men on a daily basis, trying to get my phone number or a date. but most of the time its just some guy making a comment like “ Hey girl“ or “um, um ,ummmm“ lol. I live in Seattle so that should explain it. I am never happy with a mans attempt to pick me up. I hate it in all circumstances, I would prefer already knowing a man and start liking him on my own… Then in my mind, he would start liking me and make the first move.

In another fantasy of mine, I would see a guy regularly at the park or library and slowly but surly it would be a consistent treat for both of us until, once again “he” makes a move and I accept! Oh the wonderful world in my head, I don’t think that will ever happen to me…

Is this just me or is this a female ENTJ trait?

How do you want to be approached by a man who wants to get to know you better?

Do ENTJ females date less because our interest is only peaked when we are approached in a traditional and gentlemanly way?

Do you find a man more attractive if he finds you smart and funny more so then he finds you attractive or sexy?


#2

thanks for asking the question and very indirectly answering a lot of mine when I posted almost the same thing (but aimed at female entjs) :slight_smile:

The only thing is… if you have to start liking him first before he makes a move, then how are you going to show that you like him :slight_smile:


#3

you will know when we like you…We are easy to get to know, and we make friends fast so its not like you cant talk to us at all… we love to talk, I just want him to get to know me for me and like me for me. I understand he would be attracted to the outer as well as inner but don’t approach me solely on my outer appearance because the fact of the matter is, I’m an ENTJ! Men usually have a certain idea of who a woman is and in the case of an ENTJ that idea will not match.

If a man doesn’t know what kind of woman I am, it gets annoying when he finally finds out. I’m an ENTJ, I cant speak for all but I want traditional, gentlemanly and manly… I don’t want to be dominated but I do want a BOSS. Most men can not handle that mindset in a woman. I will take care of my husband and household like no other and with pleasure but that part of me is not apparent to the naked eye, that part of me is only reveled to a seriously worthy prospect.

I should say that part of me can only be detected by a special person. It sounds just like it feels… it’s a lot of stuff going on and through my mind but that’s how I think. I could giggle, keep my opinions to myself and do everything you want but I wont and if you think that makes me less of a woman or more difficult than other women, you are seriously mistaken. I trust the affection from a man who knows me because I know he can see my qualities in their entireties. I cant change who I am nor would I ever want to, I would rather not be bothered or waste my time with the 99% of men who will not work with or for me. that’s why I don’t like a random pick up… to me it’s a waste of time and it doesn’t flatter me.


#4

I suppose this would be ENTJ female trait.

he should be the one i am attracted to. If not, i dont care.

Yes. And even are in few relationships (compared to people at the same age). Due to the fact that ENTJs are so serious and committed to their partner, and stop their searching engine when they are in a relationship.

It depends.

Normally, if i get an eye on a man, i would:
First:

  • Get to know about him as much as i can in all fields of his life (through many sources)
  • Judge and compare many things to see whether he can match the standards i hope a man should have, and to see whether this could be a compatible man( for me).
  • Talk much with him to know about his way of behaviour, his character ( to see if i like the right one, if he is honest, trustful… person)
    Then, if i find him a right one, and if i put my emotion on a right person:
  • Make myself available
  • Make more joke with him
  • Care deeply for the person
  • Talk to him more than average, no need to filter my words ( means very friendly)

    If he is not interested, i will step back.

#5

[/quote]
Exactly… I agree with you Lamar. I become available as in more talkative and I focus on you more then anyone else. More jokes, more personal attention and less filtering of my words.


#6

At initial glance, both of you are saying different things but really I think you guys are saying at least one thing in common. You both totally have to observe a man first and know everything about him before you’ll even show attraction (or be attracted?), taking that much care and patience to observe first are not usually female traits but I think female ENTJ’s as Lamer said in a diff thread are much more conscious of how much a woman has to lose vs a man than other women. You both don’t sound like you could be easily impressed or picked up, and it would probably be harder to sway you both emotionally.

Very informative anyway lol, I may finally be forming a strategy for the one I’m after :wink: but unfortunately it will be at least 6 months before she can really observe what I’m about and see what I see. At the moment it’s still very one sided, I know more about her than she knows about me and I am the type to not talk about anything until I’m ready to announce it.

Oh by the way, missentj, you not being what most men are looking for is a good thing in my eyes. I think I know what you mean, and the usual type that other men fall over for is not what I’m looking for, but you should probably the glad that you might scare away most men because in the long term the average guy would probably smother/not appreciate/be threatened by an ENTJ woman.


#7

oh, you dont need to form a strategy, i guess :wink: Normally, ENTJ is attracted to ENTJ ( for character. About physical appearance, this depends on each person). Why dont you ask her out? (If she is your employee/ business partner…, dont do it at working time). And observe her way to treat you.
And how do you know she doesnt know much about you as you do about her? what if she doesnt want to speak what she knows out and wait until you do the first move?


#8

You should change your goverment controlled google.com default search engine which is coming up with only dumbed down candidates who can’t even spell 2 words fluently.

Real life search engine works much better and is more reliable. At least you are not going to bump into pathetic people.


#9

I can speak personally about my own ENTJ traits regarding how I prefer to be approached by a male.

#1) I have a very quick scanning process and check-list that I go through. To begin, they would have to be the initiator, I’m too prideful and feel the male should approach me out of respect. He would need to have these qualities first before I even consider saying hello back: Handsome, Well-kept, Classy, Confident.

#2) If those elements are in check, I then proceed to probe to see if they have the other ingredients necessary to keep my attention: Intelligence, Driven, Passionate, Strong, Outgoing, Fun and Adventurous. If they lack any of these qualities (And the majority does) I’m wasting my time (Time is money and money is time…lol) and move on.

Come to think about it, I probably have turned a lot of great men down because of my system…oh well…there’s always better. No sweat off my back! LOL!!!

First of all, someone who text or emails me and cannot spell correctly drives me insane. It shows they are lazy and ignorant, which I’m very intolerant of. Second, I don’t like it when a guy tries to be too intelligent or depth with me in emails or online. I don’t have the patience to get all philosophical online, over a glass of wine is more pleasurable.

Men automatically assume that because I’m intelligent that I’m not a normal person who likes to joke around and have fun. I enjoy the lighter side of life when being pursued, unless as I mentioned, we were on a date and relaxing, then yes, I would enjoy the intelligent, deep conversations.

Furthermore, I have test that they have to pass and if they stick around after all that, the most persistent male (of my choosing) will win me over. His persistent shows me strength and loyalty. =)

Yes, I have to agree, at least on my behalf. I went through a spell here recently where my phone, emails, etc; were always active with men wanting to date me. I finally got fed up because it was draining my energy and I cut everyone off, they had to die. (Pun intended) :wink: Bottom line, I realized I was wasting my time because none of the men I was talking too had all of the qualities I mentioned above.

I have to be EVERYTHING too him!!! hehehehe!!!


#10

I think you and i should be friends! lol


#11

This is true,

I am happy about that fact… The older I get, the more I appreciate that point. If you really like your ENTJ, I say tell her that you “see her” in your own words of course lol but make the point that you see her deeply, known to her. Mention a few things you have noticed, the smaller and seemingly insignificant things you notice about her, will really touch her. If she rejects, leave her alone and let her think about it. Be cool and nice but keep a respectful distance and when ‘she’ focuses in on you again, talking, joking and so on… You will know to try again because she is receptive. Keep in mind that she will most likely initially reject due to fear and nothing else.


#12

Entj women are so used to being in charge and having control that there is this underlying desire for someone to step up and be even more aggressive so you can relax and be submissive.

The best approaches I have made with entj women have been extremely direct, bold yet respectful. I walked up to oneand said "You made me come all the way over here, I hope youre happy."Was my body language was completely open and my eye contact was direct. The underlying energy was very warm and playful albeit dominant.

I knew intuitively that emotional rapport and comfort are what the modern woman looks for so we had an awesome conversation where we could talk about anything and share our thoughts without fear of judgment. Naturally the conversation subtly moved towards sex so I made sure to be honest about my own preferences and stories while leaving out any hint of certainty about her being on the receiving end…even when she hinted at it. It drove her nuts. Especially whenever shed say something witty Id lightly touch her and give strong eye contact as a reward for being awesome. She finally got soso frustrated that she slammed her drink down and said “god just take me home and have your way with me already!” Lol

In a nutshell, it pays to be aggressive, warm and direct with an entj woman. They respond well to sexual tension and flirting. Talk about sex but not about the certainty of sex with her. Touch them lightly on the arm or shoulder after they say something witty. . Convey that you take what you want when you want it but you dont always want it.


#13

[quote=“Napoleon242”]
Entj women are so used to being in charge and having control that there is this underlying desire for someone to step up and be even more aggressive so you can relax and be submissive.

The best approaches I have made with entj women have been extremely direct, bold yet respectful. I walked up to one and said "You made me come all the way over here, I hope youre happy."Was my body language was completely open and my eye contact was direct. The underlying energy was very warm and playful albeit dominant.

In a nutshell, it pays to be aggressive, warm and direct with an entj woman. They respond well to sexual tension and flirting. Talk about sex but not /quote]

This is a good technique… Direct, bold, respectful. I always feel comfortable when im approached like that, I feel I can be the woman with a man like that.