How Not to Talk to an ENTJ


#41

How so?

Can you give an example?


#42

huh? im really lazy. i really am.

are you ok? if you’re having a bad week, then i hope all will get better soon.


#43

One time I was in a discussion with a friend who didn’t understand people who have 3 bank accounts (it was more complicated than that but it’s not important now), and she thought it was complete nonsense and useless etc. So it was bullshit. When I explained what the reasons might be for have 3 accounts she changed her view to, that it was impractical for her, but not bullshit in general. So it’s often (not always) just nonsense because people don’t understand the reasons of whatever’s behind the bullshit. Generally, when people say “that’s bullshit” they mean “I don’t understand”


#44

Yes, this is what I ask in a nutshell.

Then, if a feeler speaks before thinking, then we do not understand? Or because someone speaks before thinks?


#45

Maybe, I guess both of these can be a reason to but that´s not what I meant. An example (a very random one, but it’s about the ‘shape’ of the conversation, not the contents):

A: I love green
B: I love red, green is a bullshit colour
A: why?
B: because it just is, it’s ugly
A: but it’s also a very soothing colour, nice when you want to relax because it calmes you down. So it’d be perfect in your bedroom.
B: never thought of that, maybe it’s not a bullshitty as I thought.

  • the end -

Just a different point of view. I was in another discussion about yoga and one of my friends thought it was bullshit because it was spiritual nonsense, dreamy, etc. which I partially agree with because of e.g. the yoga-magazines featuring women dressed completely in white, smiley, happy and in touch with themselves, which in my opinion is bullshit (here, an F might not agree maybe :stuck_out_tongue: )
But she also thought the breathing techniques used were nonsense, but that actually isn’t true because you always have to watch your breathing, also during running, martial arts, singing or playing some instruments. In the case of yoga it relaxes you and simply makes you stretch way further if you breathe the right way. So changing the point of view often makes it less bullshit.

I can imagine F & T’s or S & N’s having difficulties tuning in on eachother. I have this with another friend of mine who’s an S & F (no intution, only exact rules and detailfocused as hell, we’re fire (me) and water), and we have days when we’re pretty much constant in discussion because she (imo) just doens’t get it. It can be really tiresome because you’re not in the same argument but each in your own discussion so in the end we always agree with our own points, making it sound like we agree (I feel like a mediator here, because I’m always introducing or reshaping the points so that we agree so to finish the discussion because it’s pointless). So I’m convinced there’s some tension between me as a ENTJ and her as a xSFx (I think a ISFP/J, but she’s entirely focused on herselve when problemsolving).


#46

I see.

Well, we are humans. We don’t know the exact answers for everything most of our times. There are many factors that define and shape who we are. Most of us, don’t have resources to reach these things. Thus, differences created. This is where comes “nobody talks nonsense”, because they only talk as much as they know. Not knowing, isn’t bullshit yet.

But I think feelers don’t usually apply thinking which is where they fail. I don’t say feelers are not humans, or that they should be cured, exterminated etc… I just prefer thinkers. I think they better understand whats going on. Because they base thir conclusions on facts rather than how it is felt. Basing yourself on how its felt can be very narrow minded. Why? Because of the reasons I have described in my first paragrash of this post. We cannot always know the right thing. And feelings can vary greatly. Deception is inevitable in this case. That why I look at feelers with great scepticism. I think this is where “if feeler wrote then it is bullshit” comes. I’m sure this is not always true. But speaking like that never killed a monkey. And I don’t make an issue out of it. Yes, some may disagree. But there are bigger things in life than this. I guess everyone can survive if we leave it as it is. A scepticism showed like that is a fair deal I think.


#47

Depends what’s meant by “emotional.” INTJs tend to be more aware of and more concerned about their own feelings on a given matter, and can even get “emo” when very depressed, but we don’t generally express our feelings as much, due to the nature of introversion vs extroversion. INTJs tend to be less physically expressive about our feelings than other types too, including ENTJs.


#48

Here’s an extremely good one. It’s not exactly “How not to talk to an ENTJ”, but more of a…

“WHEN TO STFU AND GTFO with an ENTJ”.

I’m an ENTJ male. I HATE going to bars with male friends.
because they’re either…
1.) lower status quo so they’re social retards and dorks and they need proper schooling on social etiquette and let’s be frank or terse about it…they’re a fucken cockblock.
2.) if they’re higher status quo, well…your imagination can do the rest of the reasoning…

but yeah…im entj, we primarily carry ourselves as the higher end of status quos. my male friends are often…not the detailed oriented type when it comes to self marketing or proper presentation or social etiquette. im stuck with social retards for friends. good heart and smart with books, but real effn stupid when it comes to common sense in etiquette and proper behaviour.

i hate going to bars with them because they cockblock me 100% of the time. it’s difficult to find a male friend that doesn’t peacock in my presence if they have a respectable amount of status quo. it’s hard to find the right wingman. most of my friends who can be a wingman are usually taken and tied down. it takes a genius amount of intelligence to be a good wingman. so when someone as smart as they are…is taken…it makes sense right? so yeah, it sucks…im stuck with retards.

Today, a girl I’ve been liking, she linked arms with me randomly. The moronic friend was on my right side when that happened and he jumped in and linked arms with her as well. I’m like…you effn moron. If a girl finally makes a move on me, your job is to GTFO and let the sweet moment marinate in to her memory. But yeah, it was effn annoying. He’s one of those guys that will strike up a conversation with me and whisper in my ear during a bar/club scene. Sorry, I don’t want to be affiliated with him. He’s like the nerd on the side of the gym wall during a dance that’s bouncing his knees to the music along with other nerds. I don’t want to be affiliated with that. It’s unwanted affiliation.

Anyways, ENTJS like to hear solutions…so here it is…
I will boycott hanging out with my male friends publicly or in groups. I do not need to disclose my reasons nor announce it. They’re grown adults, they’ll figure out their place and etiquette soon enough, if not, their problem. Only help when asked. I will only hang out with my male friends privately one on one.


#49

You want an adept wingman but you cant find one? Sounds like you are fucking retard.

Heres the deal. If you want to have an adept wingman but cant find a ready one…then fucking create one. Take one and train them up.

Couldnt come to this conclusion by yourself?

I have a possible solution for that too. This is the general outlook of rich c.cksuckers of this world who doesnt really know a jack about this world.

Are you one of those rich c.cksuckers? Im sure you are.

Therefore STFU and GTFO.


#50

I use to share very similar response to many of your comments, but these days I only have TWO that I truly reject:

  1. “Don’t talk the talk, if you can’t walk the walk.”

If someone is being humorous, then it’s all jokes and good times. But if an individual presents a facade that is no where near sincere, I will not tolerate such company. I can’t stand people who fake the funk.

  1. Swallow what you spit.

I appreciated criticism for it often provides enlightenment on how to change, and improve myself. In addition, I also enjoy provocative thought and controversy because it adds further insight and dynamism to a particular subject. However, for strangers and “friends” who can spit criticism but can’t swallow it, I have no respect.

The only exceptions where I allow myself to be criticized without ever reciprocating is from my great friends and loved ones. They have the privilege and right to do so.

Note* In both scenarios, I usually allow 5-7 instances to occur before I confirm my suspensions, and then firmly hold my position.


#51

I will not stand silent towards those who abuse people who are less fortunate in their lives.


#52

LOL I’m not laughing at you Wasabi. I just find your personality intriguing.

On a more serious note and in regards to your quote, I agree absolutely and I abide by a similar code.


#53

If your relative is really a Christian your going to have to try a little harder than that. :slight_smile:


#54

I remember a few days ago I convinced a Jehovah’s witness that they needed what I had to offer. They almost forgot to hand me one of their pamphlets. I feel that this is an appropriate scenario to go Charlie Sheen and say “Winning!”


#55

HAHA! you totally have “tiger blood”.


#56
  • Do not brag
  • Do not assume that just because I female I am stupid

This one really annoys me.

An ISFP I know said that he noticed that engineers (or people with engineering degrees in whatever field) tend to do this. He works in Sales and says that he meets a lot of people. I am afraid I agree with him.

I used to politely nod and then point out which parts which they have not thought about and try to show that I understand where they are coming from. Damn it why do I have a very low T score and not want to offend anyone. This makes me sooo disgusted with myself because I put up with it and it encourages them to talk about other things in the same way. Now I just smile and physically remove myself from their presence ASAP. I have better things to do than to put up with this shit. If they haven’t learnt to adequate social skills and awareness I don’t want to be around them.

How do you deal with this when they do this to you?

I now have less patience with people and go through friends and potential partners very quickly. I am now doing the Blackbriar style of “you are soo fired.”


#57

If they have a big ego they are going to get offended if you say anything so you might as well be brutally honest with them.


#58

I’ve noticed that it really isn’t a matter of how other types that to ENTJs, but rather how ENTJs talk to each other.

Quite frankly, I think a lot of female ENTJs utterly unbearable for the reason that they need to dominate every social situation and conversation, especially if they’re feeling competitive and snarky. In my experience, male ENTJs seem a lot more happier and relaxed, and don’t possess the necessity to be overly aggressive in social situations all the time.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love my fellow ENTJ females out there, but I find they are the most likely to order people around as if(!), and well two ENTJ females in the same room will tend to clash. I wonder what your experiences with other ENTJs have been, not necessarily with other types.

One thing I become amused by (and slightly irritated by) is sarcasm- I usually don’t find it funny, and when someone attempts to be overly sarcastic, I play along to see where they will take it- usually nowhere I’ve found. I’m not much into the self-deprecating personalities either- they strike me as terribly insincere.


#59

I think these things are like spices. Without them people can seem bland, and with too much people can seem distasteful. I’m guilty of going overboard with the sarcasm at times. As far as being self deprecating, I think it helps to show another side of myself, rather than seeming full of myself.

Regardless of what balance you have, you’ll never please everybody. Might as well go with what works best for you.


#60

The scary part is knowing that others really do know what I am takling about, moreover, I think some may know what I am thinking about, also

Isaac