I would really appreciate some insight on the situation I am in with an ENTJ (I am an ENFJ female, he is an ENTJ male). I apologize in advance for the long post…
I met my ENTJ guy accidentaly and instantly we had a in-depth conversation that lasted three hours straight. We exchanged numbers and went out on a date that was a straight 10 out of 10! Never any awkward silence. We continued to date (he would initiate it, and I would always happily accept, and now it just sort of goes without saying that we will spend our time together as soon as we leave the office), and eventually, after a couple of weeks of dating and great conversations/debates, we ended up in bed.
However, the problem is that we live very far away from each other and we just happened to meet in a city that we need to spend some time for work, and we’re both scheduled to leave. We talked about this when he first tried to kiss me and I told him that I am far more emotional than him and that would be difficult for me to dissociate. His view was that he would like to extract as much happines from the time we do have together as possible, and he suggested we should just have what he called a fling - a non-commited relationship. At first I said no, but I ended up to be very weak…
I thought that he would just want to have sex and that’s it, so I was very scared as I did not ever have a non-commited relationship (as I told him), but he turned out to be the sweetest man and does quite the opposite from what would “I just want sex” person do. He helps me, brings me gifts, he calls all the time, and for this short time we basically live together as he is either at my place or I am at his… We spend every free minute we have together. He even did my laundry!! And I must say, sex is amazing.
However, he never talks about what the future could bring and I don’t even know am I in a relationship with him? He did, however, when we debated about infidelity, mentioned that “infidelity would be sex with other person that is not you”, which came as the best surprise for me since we’re supposed not to commit - what do you think that means?
I read a lot about the traits of an ENTJ and I know that they can dissociate easily (he also confirmed that when we talked about it), but honestly, I look at him and I know that this is the man I want to be with. We click perfectly. I also know that feelings are never considered when ENTJ makes a decision, so my fear is that he would just give up on us when we leave this city because it is not pragmatic/logical to commit to a person who lives miles and miles away. I would really like to at least try to make this beautiful relationship survive, but I don’t want to push him.
So, the questions are:
- how to talk to him about it,
- how to keep him in my life,
- do all these things that he does for me (laundry, cook, gifts, calls, texts, all the time together, “infidelity would be sex with a person that is not you”, constantly touching me and kissing me) mean that he’s more into me/our relationship that he wants to admit? I am scared to ask him because I don’t want him to close up on me.
Thank you in advance! Any insight and help is much appreciated…