intp+entj compatability, again


I know that these questions have been thrown about quite a bit in the MBTI community, but I want to ask a quite specific question regarding the ‘perfect partner’ attitude of intp+entj compatibility:

Now as a bisexual male intp, i have no problem with this reasoning; I find confident, intelligent and ambitious people very attractive - and this is not such a problem when pursuing (or being pursued by) men, who may find my laid-backedness endearing (even if they are put off by my stoicism), however, when one comes across a woman who has all (or even just two) of these traits, my lax-intp attitude becomes ‘weakness’ and a sign that i am not a ‘real man’.
Curious, I came to find that even in several entj forums, entj women, specifically, voiced how put off they were by intp traits when they were listed.

Now this isn’t me complaining or WTF-ing, I’m just curious as to the reason(s) behind this.
I know that one should take the MBTI with a pinch of salt and that INTPs are apparently the hardest type to get along with romantically.

Personally I have come to three possible conclusions:
A) This may just be me, as I grew up in a very matriarchal family, so I can come across as somewhat submissive towards women.
B) Both men and women (regardless of type) feel a need to conform to what is expected of their gender, even if that means chasing men/women who would not be good for them.
C) Whoever came up with this idea was talking out of their arse. And was going by theory rather than actual statistical evidence.


I am going to narrow this down to give you an explanation if you are indeed seeking an ENTJ type and I will tell you how we ENTJs see INTPs in general.

Here is the list of things that we love about INTPs:

Good sense of humor
Imaginative when it comes to sex
Intellectually stimulating

Here is the list of traits that puts us off when it comes to INTPs:

We don’t like you INTPs passive aggressive behavior.
Biggest turn off ever is INTPs thinking we are controlling them when we are simply being direct.
Another big turn off is that INTP is indecisive.
Being an Introvert we tend to get annoyed with people who can’t keep up with us at a social level. As an
ENTJ sometimes I feel that I literally have to make INTPs talk and I hate to literally be having to figure out
what they are thinking about.
Also INTPs seem flaky and we perceive them as disoriented and not realistic.


I’ve decided INTPs stand their ground enough to make me respect them.

I find INTPs pleasant, uncomplicated, peaceful, and confident. I can relax and be my direct self around them. Now that I understand the type better, I see more potential than I did in the past. While the P/J difference is an adjustment, it’s not draining like the F/T differences can be. What I do to assure a good relationship with the INTP is be careful not to come across as being challenging to their autonomy in any way. Like the ISTP, they are very independent and are easily alienated if they sense an attempt to limit their freedom. :smiley:

I have an INTP living in my house and he describes himself this way: INTPs have their own mental wikipedia, they are ever building their own personal encyclopedia. He is driven to keep adding information, day in and day out, and it never stops. This is why he actually enjoys talking to people even tho he is introverted. He wants to hear about your best life stories and experiences because it’s just more great information for the encyclopedia! He is very talkative with me at home. He explained that introversion isn’t a problem with people he knows well. He only expends energy when talking to people he doesn’t know well. So yea this one can out talk even me. :smiley:

I had another INTP tell me that he will purposefully choose a less efficient method in order to probe more deeply for info. No data is accepted by him without meticulous scrutiny, testing, and confirmation. He pointed out to me that statistics and instruments can be faulty! His goal is perfect accuracy and he will go to any lengths to get it. He says he gets frustrated because others don’t understand his ideas when he tries to explain and he knows he’s right. He says most ppl think in black and white and can’t see the many shades of gray that he sees. His g/f and her parents are Js and they get irritated with his P traits, he seems lazy and disorganized to them. He’s “banned” from using her parents kitchen for not cleaning up an appliance immediately after using it. How sad, to treat him like a child, he’s a 40 year old man and probably way more intelligent than they are! He’s appropriately mature for his age too.

His hobby is home wine making and beer brewing. I bet he has a blast tinkering around with different methods and equipment. :smiley:

There is an astonishing amount of logical thought behind whatever they say so I listen and ponder carefully whenever an INTP makes the effort to share an opinion.