Self destructive behaviour


Hey fellow ENTJs

I’ve got a question. Do any of you suffer from patterns of self-destructive behaviour? I find that I “go on a bender” when I’m under extreme emotional pressure. The problem is, I don’t recognise that I’m under emotional pressure, mainly because I don’t think I “feel” like other people do. I view it as blowing off steam. It seems other people view it very differently

I’d be really interested to hear other ENTJs thoughts?





What I do is usually clear my msn list of people that I rarely communicate (even though they didnt wronged me with anything). Stop contacting certain people. Basically try to be more “efficient” so to speak in handling affars (if I do not contact a person for a while, then keeping them is “inefficient”). Same with real life people.

The reason for that is because we hate ourselves more than we do others. This is a problem. And a very serious one.


My only frequent self destructive behavior seems to be withdrawal. I often like to get away from the situation and restrict myself than to have a sloppy external world.


To OP.

Do you have family? Parents? Husband or kids?


I’ve got a fiance (INTJ), both parents still married and alive and I’m the oldest of 4 children. No kids.

My self-destructive behaviour tends to be related to alcohol, other excesses and generally dangerous behaviour. I go completely mad for about a month until I’ve got it out of my system. Mind you, still never missed a day of work! However, I stop taking care of myself and hit the booze. I’m impossible to talk to, impossible to reason with and generally just don’t care about anything.

Then it burns itself out as quickly as it arrived. It tends to happen about once every 2 years, but with hindsight, it usually happens when I’m under extreme emotional pressure (relationship break up; bad job combined with looming Masters thesis submission etc). It’s just that I don’t feel particularly pressured, unhappy or anything else - I just get an overwhelming urge to go out and have fun.

I’m just wondering if it’s a personal trait or one that other ENTJs are familiar with.


Wow wow wow!

Just wait a minute there. That doesn’t sound like right to me. Something tells me that you aren’t telling us everything.

Dangerous behavior? Like trying to jump off the cliff to see if you survive that kind of thing? Or hitting your head on the walls to see how it resonates back?

An overwhelming urge to go out and have fun? That masters thesis…are you an academic? I had a chance of becoming an academic. But to think that I will be “forced” to do only one type of job have always scared me. No matter what kind of job or income I’m offered…if I don’t keep changing it at my will…I won’t accept it. I tend to turn into destructive behavior when I am forced to limit myself on this. Maybe you live in London. A place that is not a good place to live right now. Unemploymen, unrest and people are loosing their minds every second. Maybe you are afraid to loose your job? And just try to convince yourself that everything is right, but deep down you already know what you must do. In that case…what do you expect us to give to you? A medicine? Isn’t that the doctors job?