Do any of you guys feel like a half completed puzzle?
What I mean is, I have always felt a great tension between the two sides of myself, the hyper-competent ice man (dominant personality traits), and the confused, frightened and lonely child (inferior traits). I understand that, to a certain extent, this may be more reflective of my level of maturity than anything else (although I certainly hope not).
In a gross over generalization, I have divided the entirety of my personality into the two sides mentioned above. The iceman is my public persona. The character I don everyday prior to school, or when I go out with large groups of acquaintances. This character is basically my default setting and the one in which I spend the majority of my time. This is the DiscoBiscuit that the world sees. I am comfortable in this character and wear it well. I feel that the iceman is the real world expression of my dominant traits and that this side of myself is the reason I have been able to succeed continuously in my academic and business pursuits. The iceman however, has limited powers. Put him in a social situation, and his abilities to utilize logic, assess the strengths and weaknesses of others, and see the big picture do not offer the same benefits as they do in academic/business world. His quick thinking and ice cold logic fail him completely when he needs to fit in with feelers (or is interested in hitting on a girl and finding some common ground). So, alienated by his own inability to bridge the emotional gap between himself and many (but by no means all) others, he hides behind his intellect and humor so as to remain a functional part of the social interaction. The group picks up on the walls of intellect and humor that the iceman places between others and himself. Consequently, the iceman never really becomes part of the group because of it.
The other deeper side is the child inside. I call this side of myself the child because over the course of my life, I have protected this part of myself so steadfastly that I rarely let others see it. And when I do express this side, it is only to those very near and dear to me. This child is where many of my most closely held convictions come from. These include my ideas on what love should be, my religious beliefs, and my convictions on fairness and equality. Moreover, this side is also where the possibility of true happyness resides. This is the side that I would relish sharing with a SO and where the entirety of my innocence, altruism and humanity come from. Unfortunately, with the possibility of true happiness also comes the possibility of true loss. This side is the vulnerable, gullible, willing to assume the best of others, always gets hurt side of myself.
Basically the main bullet point of this thread is this. How have you ENTJ's been able to bypass the iceman (dominant Te) and allow your vulnerable, sympathetic side to show through?
I feel like I would be happier if I was able to more readily display this side of myself to others. Also, I feel as if girls, and others in social situations would be far more receptive to me if I was able to find a healthier balance between the expression of the iceman and the child.