Yaaaaaaaaaay! Ok, I’m having an ENFP moment here, and I’m dancing a little bit.
Sligh, you just made my day, because we’re actually DOING those things! My husband is an INTJ, so we’re used to rational-ness a bit in my household. So, when I have to tell her “No,” 90% of the time, it’s phrased in the form of, “No, you can’t touch the grill while it’s hot, because it will BURN you, and you’ll have to go to the hospital.” I can’t just say, “No.” It won’t work. She has already thought of 33 perfectly good reasons why she should touch the grill. Good to know this actually MEANS something to you world-dominators, lol!
We absolutely don’t make up crazy stuff—we know she can tell when we’re lying, lol! If she asks, “Why are you and daddy sad/talking/laughing/whispering?” then we will tell her as close to the truth as we can without being inappropriate. For example, I lost a baby this past August, so if I got a bit weepy at a random moment, I just told her the truth–I’m sad about the baby. If she asked how the baby got to my belly, I told her God/daddy put it there, and left it at that. How will it come out? I go to the hospital, and the doctors help take it out, etc.
The traditional roles thing has been kind’ve weird. I’ve tried to talk to her about different choices, based on what I’ve seen her enjoy/be good at. (Singer, business owner, director) Since I’m a stay-at-home mom, and she’s infinitely more organized than I will EVER be, she’s decided for now that she’s going to be a stay-at-home mom too, so she can have 17 kids, and do it much better than mommy! Go for it, kid. As soon as you’ve grown up, I’m going to write a novel about raising you. But my NF-ness means that I would never encourage her to be someone that she’s not. You should see this kid directing all the neighborhood kids in a game!
TV has been a bit of a struggle in my household, so we’ve established designated TV times, put a book-nook in one of the rooms, and gotten used to turning the dadgum thing off. I hate it. I would just as soon put a brick through it. Hubby disagrees and hubby is an INTJ. Hubby wins for now.
This was really good to hear: “Put me down for being who I am. ENTJs can be very unemotional, detached and distant. My parents (and also some other people!), specially my mother, often interpreted that as if I didn’t appreciate them. This is not the case. It is just that we are too busy thinking about WHY we like them or being sure they are fed, protected, etc for “hugs” or “talking about feelings”. Be prepare, because when we DO show feelings, they will be deep, strong and serious.”
–>My 5 year old has been really unemotional about other people getting hurt. I’ve scolded her for that repeatedly, ie, “Your sister is HURT, why are you worrying about Barbie’s wardrobe?” Well, maybe she saw that sister wasn’t badly hurt, or figured that since mommy had it under control, that she didn’t need to be worried.
Right now, she accepts our religion, mostly because she believes it to be true. (YOU GUYS will probably believe me when I tell you that a FIVE year old can understand this stuff! Most people don’t believe me!) The thing is, we answer her questions. Every. Single. Time. We don’t tell her that she just has to accept something as fact “just because we say” or “on faith.” We believe that the Bible tells us to ask questions, so we ask them, and let our kids ask them.
I am too overprotective. She wants to kill bad guys. I’m sure she could!!! But one time we had a drunk guy come up on our porch, and start banging on the doors and windows, screaming, etc. This kid (she was 4 at the time), I kid-you-not, wanted to go outside and beat up this bad guy!!! I literally had to sit on her to stop her from going outside while my husband called the police. That line about how “one day, she’ll be protecting you” literally sent chills up my spine. I believe it.
I do have lots of questions, and I appreciate you guys being available. Thanks so much for the reassurance that we’re at least on MOSTLY the right track.