What does the ENTJ want in a relationship?


I see where you are right. And I’m unsure of why this happens.


And nobody has given attention to my question!!! :stuck_out_tongue:

When in a relationship is a compromise acceptable and when isn’t it? To you?


[size=150]ENTJ’s like it when you let us be the head of the household, or when you come to us for advice. We also love it when you brag to your friends about how successful we are instead of whine, bitch and complain that we have to work all the time. And as far as a long term relationships go, we love our partners to give us balance, order and peace within our household and manage the details of our personal lives. We love having partners who like to organize “get togethers” with friends and family, and a person that signs your name as well as theirs when mailing out the birthday, holiday and “thank you” cards. In a nutshell, we love dating social butterflies who can see the bigger picture in life, and who believe in us.

Having a partner as a confidaunt has a very calming effect on us. ENTJ’s have the tendency to get very tense, uptight and irritated after a long day at work, so we need a partner who can rub our shoulders and say “there, there” on occasion. We love coming home and seeing that dinner is cooked, the house is cleaned and the children are ready for bed. We like a person we can trust with all our money to pay the household bills, NOT go out like an idiot and rack up a whole bunch of credit card debt. However, we are very generous and we love to spoil that special someone. In fact, I would say that is the main way an ENTJ shows their love and affection is by showering their lovers with jewelry, clothes, vacations, etc. We love to feel like we are the best providers in the world. We want you to be proud and appreciate us, as well as encourage us to keep going and being a comfort to us when we come home at night. Also, we love a lady on the streets, and a whore between the sheets! Sex is a sport that is infused with a lot of power. As ENTJ’s, we love anything that has to do with power and releasing tension. Sex is great for both of those. We need to know our partner is weak to our touch, and that we are desired because of our strength, power and dominance. We love creative, adventurous, and submissive lovers who have a high sex drive. Afterwards, we like to hold you, watch movies and feel like your provider and protector.[/size]


A whole lot of good sex.


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Aside from the submissive and weak lovers part this sums it up.

I would add that I want somebody who’s versatile enough to follow my lead, but stand up to me as well. Somebody who’s competence can be as trusted as much as my own. They’d also need to accept my seemingly heartless personality and see through it.


I like all of the stuff that’s been said on here. Black Briar, you’re rather spot on and clarified in your thinking, it seems. Where are you???

I want the safety of a commited relationship without the clinginess. But I will elaborate on this. I am very confident normally. But if someone judges me in situations I would rather not be in, I find I get a bit insecure…and I hate that. I would suggest that clinginess is a form of insecurity. But as said by Black Briar, it’s good to feel the ability to lean on each other this way and in that way, lean into the relationship. This is not a form of weakness, but rather a pillow of strength, because it is having this soft place to fall that enables the strength to flow from within the individual. Take this pillow away, and all of a sudden fakeness needs to abound and real insecurity, superficiality, and uncommited relationships are the only substitute. The idea of having a shoulder to lean my head on is similarly appealing. I suppose some people need and want an excellent partner with fantastic sex!!!(yes please with a cherry or two on top (mine that is)) and others find that variety spices up their life sufficiently. I’d rather take one man and try everything with him and on him so we can look back and laugh at ourselves in the future. Each person is different. But my man knows I love him. He saw me in my insecure state recently and I haven’t seen him since. I hope he shows up soon.


what i want in a relationship?
very simple: he should be someone that has things i can learn from. Someone whom i can show the my entire personality- what i dont show to the rest of the world. A person who is confident,intellectual, good nature and caring, be his real one. a person who i can share my up and down time, who i can totally be with when im vulnerable, who can listen to me and get me back on right direction when i am on the wrong one, enlighten me when im in dark. Someone who can walk in the same direction with me. someone whom i can sit next to him and feel the peace and be away from the noisy crowd outside. Someone who can share similar view points ( in many things- life, religious,… ). I will do the same for him.
In short, a person who is similar to me but can complete me- complementary to me, that makes me a complete person and feel stronger when being with him rather than being single.
i was lack the love of a father since i was 7, and had to do things by my own and grew up like a boy rather than a girl, thats was the main reason why i had tendency to draw into man who is strong and caring, that was also the reason why i value much the value of a full family and the way a man treats his parent.
Recently, i have read a book that i find interesting, i put it here for you guys to read if interested. in this book, i like the psychology of man and woman that the author talked about most ( especially the" similariry and complementary things" when a person find attracted from the opposite sex, which i find very correct.
4shared.com/document/TwlemzQ … e_Any.html


Bullshit. Not all women cling or rob you; you need to find someone independent and trustworthy. Clingy=desperate; they’ll leave the second they find someone else they can cling on… I don’t understand why anyone would want to “rob you to your socks” unless you’re an utter dick (verbally or physically abusive) and still, the ones that punish you in that way are just too emotionally involved and hurt- find girls who are logical and independent, that’s all I can say.


You need to find someone independent and trustworthy. Clingy=desperate; they’ll leave the second they find someone else they can cling on. Acceptance is found with logic and an own inner sense of self-acceptance (not found in desperate clingy females); find chicks who are logical and independent, that’s all I can say. Females, though, no matter how logical, will need to have a shoulder to cry on- same with guys, but don’t get a super clingy girl; trust me, they suck- I know a bunch of them and they put their boyfriends through hell.


Yes!!! You get a high five agrey25


he felt the pain :mrgreen:


someone who can stand up for themselves and will tell me when i need to relax - take the edge of that j’ness.
someone who will take charge when it comes to the relationship so i dont as im too busy with world domination and seperating sock colors etc.
i really dont want to dominate relationship wise - a lot of super soft guys seem to be attracted to entj females - and thats a no go for me.


I’ve raved about this site on my other posts too, but to answer the original question, “What does the ENTJ want in a relationship”, I would say a dead-on description can be found at www.projectevolove.com/education/13/entj (and then click on the “Relationships” tab).

According to the site, being an ENTJ doesn’t totally define the person. A lot of what the person wants is due to his/her Enneagram Instincts. MBTI is just a toolbox that people can pick skills/functions out of.


I’d look for a spouse, not a subordinate or superior. The more we see eye to eye, and work as a team, the more comfortable I feel with them. Things start to get exciting when I can find the wavelength they’re on. Then we don’t have to have those involved discussions about “why I didn’t like this” or “why I want more of that.” We’re both on the same page.

Clinginess may work for some people, but it merely makes me unsettled.


Aren’t INFPs the ideal type for ENTJs, since INFPs tend not to be clingy during isolation-phase?


ENTJ Woman here,

Interesting focus on the male and female assumption of what a ‘relationship’ is. I’m posting here because I’d like to follow up with this on a broader scale.

My question is that:
How do you define what you, an ENTJ, supposedly that we know very well what we want/ need out of a relationship, but where does it come from? :question:
Is it from experience? Is it from pop culture ‘fairy tale’? Is it from cultural heritage? Is it from social development? Does it come from patterns/ lack of?

Relationships- “The Who”
“Those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it” Edmund Burke (etc.)

Here’s a “Time Frame”- list of stereo-typical roles - in some sort of order of events that any one person might come across in the N.American world. — I feel that is all a matter of exposure that grounds our decision making in what we want from others.

I know this list below: may be a broad data base that we could be reflecting on, being the social creatures that we are, but I find creating lists help narrow subject matters of who it is in our lives that help us judge what we want out of people.

  1. Parent(s)
  2. Siblings(s)/ Child-hood Friend(s)
  3. Neighbor(s)/ School Friend(s)
  4. Teacher(s), Role Model(s), Idol(s)
  5. Work Colleague(s), Random People(s)
  6. Partner(s)
  7. Other(s) - somehow affected you in some way --ex. saved your life when you nearly drowned in the river.

Now, comes the questions.
In each of these relationships
I) Did you love them? Do you love them? If so, how.
II) Did they love you? Do they love you? If so, how.
III) What mattered? To you…to them?

I am finding that while in a current re-evaluation of relationships (as I do every 6mo. or year for I’m an avid journal keeper) it seems at the moment there are two ways of looking at ‘relationships’

As a person:
a) Do they share my set of core values?
b) If they don’t share my set of core values…can I accept this?

As a ENTJ:

a) Do they rise the challenge of living with me my core values? If so, how is this measured?
i) Integrity (quite different than truth at times…please check definition)
ii) Respect
iii) Honesty
iv) Love - with diligence (uh hum…not neediness…just knowing what I need :wink:

b) Can you rise to the challenge of living with your partner with their core values? If so, how to they value you?
could be various listed here.

On an intimate note- Great sex is always a bonus, :wink: my g*d I can barely survive two weeks with out that tribal instinct to satisfy and be satisfied, but also sometimes as rewarding or more is a person who chooses to educate themselves and make good use of the art of communication (note this can be body language.too…lol).

So…relationships…one of the keys of life. Knowing what you want is excellent…ENTJ’s are especially good at this, in my opinion, but have we thought about what it takes to give as much as we want? oooooooo



As very-probably the biggest perceiver in this forum. I would like add to this and point out for all judgers that P should be used in interpersonal situations to identify your % of accuracy. So that you adapt better your attention to those who stand up with their insight. In my experience, judging is taking the most probable thinking route(J) instead of exploring all the probability branches §…and the in betweens. Oh yeah I already mentione din the post the J close minded extreme and the P Mindxploded extreme ( Yeah I actually witnessed someone ‘‘MindXploded’’)

I think it’s important that no matter how much you work your J or P, just a slight effort to have a little P or J is the most efficient learning effort you could make. A J to Stabilise and determine the P and a P to avoid J helpless BIAS( others cant save you because something like Ahole mode).


Is letting me have my way too much to expect?


Ti: understands exactly what the ENTJ is saying
Ne: sees no incentive to do whatever it is ENTJ is still carrying on about
Si: remembers back to why he is in the situation to begin with
Fe: does the opposite of what ENTJ asked and ENTJ does not notice at all


Everything you just said is intuition. You can’t confirm your type because you are a Sensor and MBTI is too abstract a concept for you.