Dealing with emotional males. I can deal with emotional females. That’s fine. For some reason, when men are feelers, they’re worse than women. I fired my finance guy. ENFJ.
Hardest Part about being an ENTJ for me, is just trying to get people to understand that being the best, or wanting to accomplish great things is not being an elitist, or snob.
This is it for me.
Hmmm. I seem to quote you a lot!
edited: for typo
I’ve been known as being serious, cold and aloof at school. At the same time, I was respected and admired by my friends. I was efficient, mostly successful and ambitious. I definitely love people, but they would mock me for my Hillaryesque attitude. The truth is, I’m a friendly, warm and sociable person provided people get to know me well. So I decided to further develop my ‘feeling’ and ‘sensing’ attitudes, and I feel less alienated now than before.
However, my reluctance to hold team members to the standards I set before has had disastorous consequences. They don’t respect me or my authority and treat me like a joke, yet I can’t bring myself to tell them off. My management has become a train wreck. I’m bruised and battered and I just don’t know what to do.
Noticing excessive usage of certain techniques on daily basis just makes me want to screaaaaaammmm.
Feeling. I do feel, it’s just that I have very hard time showing it so it is apparent enough to others. I must pour all of my efforts and heart into expressing feeling just to seem normal in the feeling department. One good thing about it is it’s getting easier the more I do it, proves to be true especially lately. Girls are all over me. :mrgreen:
I know I’m coming to this post a tad late…ah well. I think the hardest things about being an ENTJ ( for me) would include
1)Loneliness. Most of the time , on a mental level. Others just aren’t there, and it annoys me. I’m too picky when it comes to relationships. I feel as though I can only connect to a very few; enough that I could even consider a relationship. I know ( and have been told) I’m relatively attractive. Yet it doesn’t matter for a second if I can’t get past where they are mentally
2)Sleeping. Sometimes I feel like I spend more time awake and thinking than actually sleeping. I’ve found that I can fall asleep easier in other places than my own bed; almost as though my own bed has become the predestined place of thinking and mental tormenting
3)Inefficiency. It annoys the living crap out of me and we are surrounded by it.
I’ve totally felt like this in the past as well. Anywhere else I could sleep like a dead person, but when in my bed my head would just start working at high speed.
If I was to add something to this list myself, it must have been:
Allways looking at different angles of everything. I allmost never form an opinion about something because I see the ups and downs of everything, wich makes it hard for me not to stay objective.
If I had listed something else, that probably would have been it, but with a twist. I’m opinionated on everything. That tends to leave me at odds with others. I can’t, or have a lot of trouble, in taking things at face value, for its almost like I have to find a hidden message, agenda, or intention behind everything.
People don’t have the sense of fairness and long range planning that I do. I’m always focused on recruiting people who have potential for my team. But new team members will face some disadvantages. I go out of my way to set up a situation in advance so the new person will have as few obstacles to overcome as possible. When my back is turned, all the work I’ve done can be unraveled when some “do gooder” on robotic mode tiptoes in and reallocates resources to others who don’t really need them, which leaves the new person having to start off in less favorable circumstances. They think that help to any team member is equally good without bothering to weigh who might need help the most. I can talk till I’m blue in the face, but most people just don’t understand why we should plan ahead for the needs of the new team member who hasn’t yet arrived. These people tend to be wary of me because they have no inkling of my priorities and why I’m annoyed.
I would have to say the hardest part for me has been forming an identity,
knowing how I feel, and what I want.
Much of my life I’ve been so focused on achieving goals, doing what had
to be done, that I’ve lagged well behind everyone else in figuring out who I
I have only just recently (the past three years) begun to figure things out
about myself that have been nothing but an irritating mystery for the whole
rest of my life.
I think the problem with this question is that people can only really tell you what they are personally struggling with, which does not (entirely) equate with their broad personality type (let’s face it, 2 ENTJ’s can still be very dfferent people).
What I personally struggle with is a lot of (feelings of) social incompatibility and (feelings of) being different, but this stems from a great part also from my childhood experiences.
Something I also struggle with is needing a human connection, but in very different ways from many people. For example, I have a hard time handling small talk. Can’t do it. Also, I have a hard time talking to people in large crowds. There are too many stimuli for me and I get very uncomfortable and overstimulated. I like to be with people in small groups, or 1-on-1 when we match really well (not when I don’t, because that’s just uncomfortable again).
Ah and a last thing for me would be that I have a lot of ideas and inspiration, but I also lose interest in them very quickly and never have the motivation to go through with something. Basically I would probably be best off as an entrepreneur from what I can tell from my work and study experience (I somehow tend to be quite multi-talented / capable whereas other people are often very specific – and better than me at that specific thing – which makes it easier to set something up entirely on my own). If only I had the motivation to entirely go for something.
These do gooders exhibit an equality of indifference or moral pluralism, yes I’ve seen such in a few sensors. The ones whom are really off the deep end are those whom exhibit body language that they are sensing something when in conversation. Like a tune is playing in their head, they are smelling something or so forth, I think it is classified as schizophrenia.
Many allocation problems such as this can be experienced in assembly lines, coding development, or management practices. I think scrum is good for coding, but I haven’t read up on the government bailouts to motor vehicle manufacturers. Somewhere during the 19th century management changed for the worse and had a regression. The Dilbert principle is a good read.
I am a female ENTJ living in a culture where most people are EFP.
My mother was an INFJ and my father was an ESTP. Everybody else in my culter are mostly F and/or P.
Once every 5 years, I would feel that I have seriously hurt people disproportionately though always UNintentionally. At such time, I sometimes think that perhaps it is better for the world if I lived in a monastry and has no interaction with the other mortals.
Yes, I sometimes Idid realize that I have hurt people. I saw them cried their heart out.
Of course I usually get over that feeling of guilt in less than 5 minutes because I always know that I never intended to hurt anyone. But when that guilty feeling did hit me, it hit me hard. It got me wondering why I was so different from everybody else.
For me, I think the hardest part is because taking in and processing information or any data to connect all the dots in my brain is one inevitable process, there’s just those times where I feel all scattered because of information overload. Sometimes it’s just too overwhelming that communicating (when I usually get along quite easily) with others becomes a headache. Yet being ENTJ, it’s my nature which I can’t change and it’s my passion to always analyse and think and think and think.
Another thing- I always love to hear other people’s point of view about stuffs. I find it intriguing to be able to understand one’s mind other than my own about a particular subject/ just debating in general. However, it seems to most people I’m opposing their view when I voice out my thoughts in my process of understanding them. Most of the time, they become offended when in fact, all I want, is for them to explain their view in a logical manner so that my brain can accept their view
PS: Pardon me for any misspelling/grammatical errors. English is not my first language.
Being too rational all the time. Being able to logically work out the outcome of a relationship or opportunity in a short time, and being right the majority of the time. Sometimes I wish I could shut it off and live like an emotional person throwing caution to the wind and “Seeing where things go” or “Following my heart”. I can’t do this, though, because if I already have an idea where it will go and it isn’t positive or beneficial I am not going to be stupid enough to do it.
Oh boy, where to start. (Favorite question btw).
hardest part is feeling so alone all the time. feeling misunderstood.
second hardest part is not having alot of friends.
third hardest part is living in such a mediocre world
fourth is working with morons
fifth is people using powerfull tools for cat videos
sixth is being bored with people and having to drink to entertain yourself
seventh is no one calling you because you annoy them for being so smart
eighth is only autistic people and men liking you
ninth is knowing you can’t really save the world because it just don’t wanna be saved
and tenth (drum roll) is people thinking you are a loser for typing into chat boards when actually you think they are the loser for posting cat videos.
I know it is a bit silly, but the hardest part for me:
Realizing that people’s feelings do matter!
This affected both my personal and workplace relationships.
I am an entrepreneur and taking people’s feelings as valid data that must be considered in order to be most effective was like a whole new world for me.
Slightly embarrassed to admit, i only really got that 2 years ago (and I’m 42).
Live and learn
The books that helped me a lot were
"What got you here won’t get you there" by Marshall Goldsmith and Brené Brown’s “the gifts of imperfection”.
I highly recommend these to anyone having similar workplace and/or interpersonal issues.
That’s easy. The hardest part of socializing is trying to communicate with non-thinkers, I call them the feelers, and they outnumber us everywhere. The kind of people who talk about food, the weather, hair, makeup, other people, sports, fingernails, etc., the kind of people who don’t care about politics, don’t even have a clue! I find that so difficult and will leave the party if there is nobody there to talk to about time travel or books, music, politics, religion, spirituality, metaphysics; anything that requires a thought process. Yes, feel alone like the rest of you, so excited when I actually meet someone with similar interests, I get all geeked-out about certain topics and it’s wonderful to geek-out with someone else.
Wow, I totally relate to everything you say. I would add; I don’t think I have feelings. I tend to think and analyze everything and come to a conclusion on whatever is the topic. Analyzing and concluding makes me very content. But it’s never about anything that has to do with emotions, it’s about facts and truth (which is relative). That is why other people’s truth doesn’t bother me at all, I just disagree with them and get over it. They, on the other hand, don’t seem to like me if I don’t agree with them. I also highly value consistency, which is not relative.